Now that we’ve over-analyzed the kitchen… how be we do the same for my cooking skills? What can I cook, you wonder? This is an important consideration for the 25 gracious gals willing to show me something new. As it stands right now, these are the things you do not need to teach me:
- Boiled eggs
- Kraft Dinner
- Pasta noodles – I’d need help on the sauce, though
- Tuna pasta salad
- Frozen pizza – as long as there is only one and if I remember to take the cardboard off the bottom
- Smart Ones frozen meals. I microwave these for lunch when J-M doesn’t come home to make it for me. Puttin’ it all out there, people.
- Grilled cheese sandwiches
- French toast, which my friends tell me can be tricky
- Toast, of course
OK, not a lot of “real” food in the mix, but with some granola bars and cold cereal, I could survive, right? And the things I can do, I take GREAT pride in.
The boiled eggs alone give me hope. They’re real food and I actually enjoy making them. I’ve boiled eggs for breakfast so often there is zero guess work. I know how long to cook them – custom-order even, if you were to come over, say for Thanksgiving. (Want runny, soft- or hard-boiled? Gotcha covered, what with my knowing how to make toast and all.) Because of the boiled eggs, and the small joy they give me, I’m anticipating that I will find some satisfaction with other dishes I learn, once practiced. Boiled eggs tell me this is possible, that perhaps I won’t feel that familiar stress that overtakes me when I attempt to cook, and fail.
Tonight, I decided to have a quick chat with my daughters about this project and see what they think of it all.
Mallory (Mal): You haven’t cooked yet, though.
Sophia (Fi): You mean what do I think about you cooking or learning to cook? Learning, I think is a good idea. Because, like, you get to learn how to cook! And in the same way you get to be with your friends and learn what they like.
Mal: I’m a little scared.
Me: Scared?! Why?
Mal: Because you’ll get discouraged if you can’t do it… and we might have to eat the food you eat.
Me: When you say that, that makes me discouraged! Ok, so let me ask this, do you like to cook?
Fi: I haven’t really cooked ever. I just make toast. And eggs. And sometimes bacon.
Me: Bacon? Impressive!
Fi: But it didn’t it turn out, remember?
Me: What do you think about growing up and you have to cook every single day, even maybe a couple times a day?
Fi: I think it would be fun, ’cause it’s, like, fun to make stuff. You think about what you’re going to make and then expearmint.
Mal: Expearmint, is that like the gum?
Me: Do you enjoy cooking?
Me: What makes you enjoy it?
Mal: Like Fi said, to “expearmint.”
Me: If you had a husband, would you want him to cook for you or would you like to do the cooking?
Fi: I’d say both too, because you can like cook together, like Aunt Tracey and Uncle Gus do.
Me: Do you think people actually do that?
Fi: Nope. Most people probably want to have their own space, like you. You always get stressed out when somebody’s in the kitchen with you.
Me: Why do you think–
Mal: Because you’re Mommy.
Fi: That’s the thing that you do! I’ve never known the reason.
Mal: True dat.
Me: Take a guess.
Mal: Because you’re hormonal?
Me: Every time I cook?
Fi: I don’t know why. It’s not like you’re on a time limit. Well, it’s not like you can take hours either, but you have everything you need there, so… I don’t know why.
Mal: I don’t feel stressed when I cook, I just don’t like people looking over my shoulder.
Fi: You don’t like anyone looking over your shoulder EVER, Mal.
Mal: It feels like they’re watching you and are going to correct you.
Fi: I don’t like to talk about this.
Me: Too many questions?
Fi: No, talking about it reminds me when I look at Mal’s Facebook over her shoulder and she doesn’t want me to look.
Me: What’s your favourite dish to cook?
Fi: Fried eggs. That’s pretty much all I know.
Me: What’s your favourite thing I make?
Fi: Tuna Casserole.
Mal: Boiled eggs.
Me: Do you hope I can cook at the end of this?
Fi: I certainly hope so. After ALL THAT.
Me: All what?
Fi: All you’re going to do for this!
Mal: I think it will make you more stressed though. Because you get stressed when you’re cooking… so, if you’re cooking more… I’ll just eat the food.
Me: Will you eat my food, Fifi?
Mal: I’ll try it.
Fi: Depends on if it smells good. If it smells gross, it’ll taste gross because the two senses are connected. I hope it smells good.